Toxic people

You read that one word over and over again. Everywhere in the media attention is drawn to this. It’s been around for a long time, but for a long time no one knew what it really meant to be toxic. Toxic means as much as poisonous, and this text refers only to interpersonal relationships. I think I can appeal to many, but these are only my experiences and it doesn’t mean that it always has to be like this. There are many toxic character traits.

Let me start with the one that is most common and easy to recognize. YOU are to blame for EVERYTHING. When I say everything, I mean everything. The other cannot admit mistakes or apologize. He’s always blaming each other, and since you’re his closest confidant, you’re that chosen person. You’re on a date, you’re 100% sure, and you may even have proof that you are. Still, the other person blames you for the bad planning and turns the tables. She does not apologize for being wrong or wrong. No! No! She blames you. She’s pointing at you. Over and over again. This is a very banal example, but I hope it shows what I mean.

No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, it’s never gonna be enough. The other person has expectations you can’t fulfill. At first it’s just small things, but the demands get higher and higher if you can’t live up to them anymore. If you don’t do them justice, you’ll get in trouble. So you give yourself completely and neglect yourself in order to please the other person as much as possible and not to do anything wrong. The stupid sayings on the outside that you’ve changed don’t really make it any better. In such a situation, I find it extremely difficult to tell others what is happening in one’s own life. You don’t want others to think badly about your partner or friend. You don’t want others to interfere in the relationship. The most important thing, however, is that you don’t want to lose the person. So fear of loss builds up. Very great fear of loss. These are accompanied by an ever-diminishing sense of self-worth. Because there’s only one person you want to spend your life with. At some point you get to the point where you think there’s no one who wants me anymore, so I only have her/him.

I can tell you, as you age, you learn more and more to crystallize toxic character traits. It takes, at least if you have the same problem as me and people like this, several attempts. These people make you stronger, even if you don’t realize it right away. They show you your true worth, which deserves something far better than that.

May, 2022